How to Tell If He’s Right Man for You In 5 Minutes
There are lots and LOTS of guys out there. This is an important truth. With so many possibilities available to us, we want to make sure that the choices we make are the right ones.
We want to make sure we’re getting a right man who will make us feel as happy and secure as it is ever possible to be.
Did you know that there are 3 critical principles to attracting and keeping a GREAT man? Watch this short video: 3 Critical Principles to Attracting Men.
Now, it may sound a bit like I’m jumping the gun here – after all, we’re talking about the first five minutes of meeting someone here! But… bear with me here.
Just because it’s early days (or early minutes, whatever), doesn’t mean that the signals you get from him are any less potent or meaningful. You can tell very quickly whether someone is interested in you.
If you know they ARE, then that’s like being given the go-ahead:
You can decide whether you’re into them or not, and allow them to pursue you, allow yourself to pursue them depending on this decision.
Don’t Doubt It:
There are ways that you can tell, in five minutes or less, whether you and a man have a future together. I’m not kidding. There are things that he will do and say that will prove to you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, whether:
A) The two of you have a connection or not, and
B) Whether he feels the same way.
But perhaps you don’t believe me. Perhaps you’ve had an encounter with the Perennial Bachelor. I’m sure you know who this guy is – most of us have met him, at some stage or another.
He’s the guy who sets clear limits about “me time”. He’s the guy who makes us feel like a dope for wanting to spend more time together.
He’s the guy who just wants to have fun, who’s interested in “dating” but not “courting”, and who doesn’t want to hear any talk about settling down.
Before we get started, I’d just like to discount the idea of the Perennial Bachelor as he applies to the Five-Minute Checklist.
Yes, I know some guys are obsessed with the fact that they’re enjoying their “me time”.
And hey, it’s not just men that do this – but men are the topic in this article, so let’s stick with this for now.
But when these men meet the RIGHT WOMAN – someone who they feel a real sense of connection and RAPPORT with – all this talk of hobbies, boys’ nights, and me-time goes straight out the window.
He realizes that, after all, he’s actually ready for much, much more than he thought he was.
What I’m trying to say is that the Five-Minute Checklist actually applies to ALL men, regardless of whether they think of themselves as a “bachelor” or not.
So don’t worry about your preconceptions about any of the men that you may apply it to – because if they demonstrate the signs and signals listed below, then they’re into you. There are no two ways about it.
Here’s a hint about this checklist: It’s all about RAPPORT, and whether it exists or not between you and this man.
Rapport is an Essential Part Of All Human Relationships.
The dictionary www.dictionary.com defines it as a harmonious connection that you have with someone. When you have a RAPPORT with someone, it means the two of you just … mesh. You “get” each other. You have a mutual affinity and understanding.
When you build rapport with someone, you’re deepening and strengthening your connection with that person. You cannot have a relationship with someone – whether that relationship is romantic, platonic, social or professional – without rapport.
Rapport is ESSENTIAL to making progress in any human relationship. For a guy to be attracted to you, he must be feeling RAPPORT with you.
So How Can You Tell If You’ve Got Rapport With Someone?
First of all – and this one’s The Big One: you guys will have CHEMISTRY. This is where you just “click”. You feel a strong attraction to this guy, a strong sensation of “More please!” when you look at him and when you talk to him.
Something about him just draws you to him – it may not be something that you can articulate, or explain, but it’s still there. This sensation is often non-rational and unconscious. You don’t consciously make up your mind to feel chemistry with someone: either you’ve got it, or you don’t.
Usually, it’s comprised of physical and emotional elements, so someone you’re “feeling it” for will make you feel both weak at the knees, as well as irresistibly DRAWN to that person.
How Can You Tell If You Have Chemistry?
Easy! If you have to think about it too hard, then you don’t. It’s as simple as that. Chemistry is important for relationship-building. It’s pretty hard for most people to sustain long-term sexual and romantic love without some pretty powerful feelings of mutual attraction.
I’m not saying that the man in question has to be conventionally good-looking, or that he needs to be a model of masculine perfection. I’m simply saying that, for chemistry to exist, you must feel ATTRACTED to him – and he needs to feel the same way about you.
Mutual attraction is an ESSENTIAL component of chemistry! If you’re interested in knowing more about creating irresistible chemistry, I’d recommend you watch this video: How to Create Irresistible Chemistry with Men
Second: You’ll be COMPATIBLE.
By this, I mean that you’ll UNDERSTAND each other, and will be able to COMMUNICATE easily and without trouble. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll agree on everything; but your communication STYLE will be very, very similar.
For example, you might have wildly different views on, say, politics. Two people with similar communication styles wouldn’t be fazed by this because they would enjoy an innate understanding of that other person’s true meaning.
For example, a couple who communicate similarly might both make a real show out of their disagreement by huffing, puffing, and blustering about their differences in viewpoint.
But at the end of the day, neither of them have taken offense, because they UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S TRUE INTENT. Or they might both engage in spirited and lively debate, trying to convince the other person of the validity of their own views.
But again, at the end of the day, neither person feels hurt, rebuffed, or belittled, because they both understand each other’s style of communication. People who communicate well and clearly may go on to have all the DISAGREEMENTS in the world – but they will rarely if EVER, have fights.
Communication is a HUGE ISSUE.
NO couple will last if they can’t communicate well with each other.
The three E’s of communication:
If you’re both conveying the three E’s to each other in the first five minutes of a meeting, then things are looking good! And it doesn’t matter WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT – it could be the contents of the punch bowl or the state of the nation, but if you’re on the same wavelength, and can both “get” where the other person is coming from, you’ll be able to tell.
Third: You Will Both Establish, And Maintain, Non-Verbal Rapport.
Here, of course, I’m talking about body language.
When two people are in tune with one another – when they’re IN RAPPORT – they mimic each other’s body language. They sit or stand in the same way. They both have open body language – no crossed arms or legs. Their expressions are similar.
They copy one another’s tone, the volume of voice, and speed of speech. When someone is really into you, you’ll be able to tell because they “mirror” your posture and your expressions.
- If you lean forwards… they lean forwards.
- If you lean back… they lean back.
- You laugh and talk excitedly… and so do they.
NOTE: This is something that a lot of women struggle with.
Their own inner voice (some call it the “inner critic) and their own self-limiting beliefs that they’ve imposed actually CONFUSE the issue, and they find it difficult to tell whether someone is genuinely interested in THEM, or if they’re just being played with.
If you ever feel confused about this, then I highly recommend you watch this video: 3 Critical Principles to Attracting Men It’ll transform your life!
If you can train yourself to start paying attention to this sort of stuff, you’ll be able to tell when someone’s feeling in tune with you. And if you’re REALLY self-aware, you’ll be able to tell when YOU’RE really hitting it off with someone, because YOU will be mirroring THEM, too.
You know how sometimes your body seems to know things ahead of your mind? Well, when you’re feeling attracted to someone, you might not know it CONSCIOUSLY. But your BODY knows it, and shows it by copy-catting the posture, expressions, and speech patterns of the person you’re hanging out with.
It’s almost like it’s reflecting that INNER sensation of being “in sync” with someone, by showing it on the OUTSIDE. The great thing about the mirror test: it never lies! So if you notice someone subtly copying what you’re doing, take a second to mentally congratulate them on their good taste – they’ve taken an interest in you.
So there you have it: three infallible ways for you to tell whether someone’s into you or not. This is a fail-proof checklist, so I hope you enjoy putting it to good use!