Flirting is THE most important component of seduction
If you ever want to be a master SEDUCER, the kind of guy who can just effortlessly attract and seduce females… then you must first become a MASTER FLIRT. Flirting is THE most important component of seduction.
Successful Flirting Outrageously
Fact: You CANNOT seduce a woman without flirting with her and good successful flirting ALWAYS leads to seduction… if you want to take it that far. Learn to get past a woman’s defense mechanisms with quality flirting, and you are IN.
Every time. But – there’s a catch.
As with most things in life, when it comes to flirting there are RULES. Rules which you MUST follow if you want to get the kinds of women that you’ve always thought were out of your league. If you are a good flirt, then NO woman is out of your league.
NO woman is unattainable. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what job you have, or what car you drive. If you can flirt… then you’re a cinch. Guaranteed.
***** CLIENT LETTER *****
I need you to teach me how to flirt. I need to know EXACTLY what to do. I live in the PERFECT spot for getting women – there are SO MANY beautiful single women here – but I need at least SOME kind of an idea of what I’m doing before I try it, otherwise it’s just pointless.
I only moved here not long ago so I don’t have a hell of a lot of buddies to go out with and meet women, either (I know, I know – what a sad case) …
Please Slade, don’t make me do this alone. Teach me what I need to do to get hot women! I don’t need to be able to work miracles. I know I’ve got what it takes.
I just need a little help getting off the ground. If someone could teach me the basics of flirting, I would go out and practice every day until I got it right.
***** MY RESPONSE *****
Philip: great stuff.
First of all, I have to commend you on your great attitude. I like the way you say that you’ll go out and practice every day until you get it nailed … because that is what success with women is all about.
It’s no good just getting the THEORY, unless you’re willing to put in the FIELD TIME to make sure you understand everything on a gut level.
As far as everything else goes, you’re in a bit of a tight spot right now. No friends, and no woman. Plus, you’re too nervous to go out and meet women by yourself right now.
So: GET OVER IT! You can’t meet women sitting at home on your ass.
Either get some male friends, scrape some guys together to go out partying or whatever (this shouldn’t be rocket science, there are guys that like to party EVERYWHERE) or get used to scoring by yourself.
Normally I would say that it’s best to have a couple friends along with you because they provide you with something to do when you’re not talking to women, AND they can tell you what you did wrong/right as you go.
But if you don’t even have 1 or 2 friends or acquaintances to go have a beer with, then you’ll have to do it by yourself.
But enough… let’s get on to WHAT YOU NEED TO DO when you’re out.
There are 2 basic rules of good flirting that EVERY GOOD FLIRT knows to stick to. I’m going to go over these rules here.
1: Use humor. But BE CAREFUL with it!!
– Never use humor at your own expense. Joking is great. Laughing at yourself, and getting WOMEN to laugh at you, is NOT great. If you’re used to making yourself the butt of jokes, you need to stop. NOW.
– Never make a joke at a woman’s expense. Women are a lot more sensitive than guys. Even if you think she’s got a great sense of humor and she “gets” all your other jokes, you should NEVER laugh at a woman – or try to get her to laugh at herself.
Chances are, she’ll get offended, even if she KNOWS you’re only kidding.
This is just the way women are.
This ESPECIALLY includes making jokes about her appearance. Appearance is very, VERY important to women. They are paranoid about it. They spend hours getting their hair to curl in a particular way, choosing belts that go with their pants and shoes, and doing weird stuff to their faces (like curling their eyelashes).
All just to look good.
If you make a joke about a woman’s appearance (a few juicy ones I’ve heard include “Nice haircut, didn’t know your hairdresser was blind!” or “Either you’re wearing too much lipstick or someone threw a watermelon in your mouth”) she will be offended, and you will lose your chance to her.
– Don’t use physical humor. Guys like to wrestle each other, punch each other on the arm, and give each other wedgies and noogies. If you do this to a girl, she will either get scared or annoyed. Neither of these is a good thing.
First of all, women are a lot more easily hurt than men. You could cause her pain without even meaning to. Secondly, a woman’s appearance will be disturbed by most types of physical humor. Women don’t like to have their hair mussed, their makeup smeared, or their shoes trod on.
Be aware of this. The most you can get away with is picking her up over your shoulder and pretending to be a caveman but that’s humor for a different situation.
– Do not use toilet humor. Nothing turns a woman off more than the smell of feces. Farting is NOT FUNNY to women. While you’re around women, you should pretend that you don’t think it’s funny, either.
If you’re more interested in passing gas than you are in getting a woman to like you and want to have sex with you, then by all means, far away.
But if you want women to feel attraction to you, then you won’t even so much as MENTION farting, burping, or feces in her presence. Talking about it is almost as bad as actually doing it.
– Be romantic with your humor and use it as a tool to let her know you’re attracted to her. For example, make jokes about how she is a goddess. If she works in a café, she’s a Coffee Goddess. If you bump into her on the dance floor at a bar, she’s the Dancefloor Goddess. Address her as such.
Using your humor to let her know you’re attracted to her will make her think of you as a potential lover. She’s much less likely to think of you as “just a friend” if you introduce romance (even humorous romance) into the situation at an early stage.
2. Be relaxed and confident.
It is very important that you’re comfortable with your OWN approval. If you wait until you think SHE approves of you before you allow yourself to relax and feel comfortable, then you’ll always be shaky and desperate with women.
You need to get into the headspace of, “I don’t care what this woman thinks about me.” Not caring will enable you to be your real self… relaxed, easy, confident.
It’s a lot easier to be charming when you don’t have anything invested in the outcome of any given situation. And paradoxically, it’s this “not caring” attitude which results in a GOOD outcome.
One way to get yourself to not care is to flirt with LOTS of women. The more women you talk to, the more you will begin to understand AT GUT LEVEL that it literally does NOT matter what this one particular woman thinks.
If she disapproves or doesn’t laugh, so what? Maybe she already has a boyfriend, maybe she’s having a terrible day, or maybe she’s just one of those “cold” women who doesn’t know how to have fun.
It’s not enough for you to know this INTELLECTUALLY. You have to know it VISCERALLY, too. And the best way to do that is to talk to LOTS of women on an ONGOING basis.
To learn the hard facts about self-confidence – how to get it, act it, and BE it – you should read my book on the subject.
Here are some tips to help you get there in the short term until you’ve talked to enough women that your confidence has naturally evened itself out:
– Breathe and move slowly. This will make it easier for you to talk in a deep voice (which women find hot) and will make you LOOK confident. Women will be more aroused by you if they think you’re confident and will react to you more positively and that’ll make you more confident too.
– Overcome your bad posture. I cannot emphasize enough how important good body language is! If you have good body language, it doesn’t even really matter WHAT you say to a woman… she’ll still feel attraction.
And if you have BAD body language, you can have the best “lines” in the world and she STILL won’t be attracted to you. Get it sorted.
– If you have something unusual about you, or something “weird”, then USE IT. If you have something that sets you apart from everyone else, work WITH it, not against it. Women find it very attractive when a man is confident enough to express himself confidently and fully. It’s a sign of high social value.
If you’re like most guys, you’ll probably get one or two safe little “routines” sorted, and think that’s enough. You’ll get comfortable with low levels of success, and not realize that you can have the kind of success with women that you just WILL NOT BELIEVE until you’ve experienced it for real.
If you don’t want to be held back by mediocrity, you should make it your mission to find out as much about flirting and seduction as you possibly can. THAT is the only way that you’ll get really, REALLY good at it. You can start here: