Stay Focused On Her And Keep Your Wandering Mind In Check
Do you know what it takes to spark a woman’s interest? What’s the secret to catching her attention? Is it a chiseled jaw, inflated pecs or a bank account big enough to support a small country?
For chumps who rely on superficial qualities to get by, perhaps. For you, however, you’re better off developing the REAL way to generating undeniable chemistry.
How does a master at seduction do this? Simple, he channels his social worth through his attitude and the way he interacts with women.
It’s this ability that closes the gap between clueless novice and seduction master.
He knows that making great conversation is the path to success. That’s why you should watch this video How to Be Irresistible to Women.
You know how it is in the movies where the guy orders his drink, happens upon a beautiful woman, and charms up a storm with his witty repartee?
Well, real life isn’t like that at all. When you’re out on the field, there isn’t some script to go by – this is the reason why our book is so useful.
Once you’ve acquired the needed skills to hold a natural conversation, it’ll open the door to a richer dating and social life.
For the meantime, let’s tackle the bare basics of holding a decent, attention-getting chat with the nice lady you’ve got your eyes on. I can’t tell you how vital this first step is in the courtship process.
But in the same breath, I have to advise you NOT to consciously think about THAT during the actual conversation. Ironic is it not? But it is true.
As important as it is to be a good conversationalist, you have to push that mental pressure to the back of your mind because it’s DISTRACTING.
Which Brings Us To Our First Guideline
# 1: Stay Focused On HER And Keep Your Wandering Mind In Check
Look, it’s pretty simple: if she knows you’re not really listening to her then you’re most likely to go home ALONE. She ain’t giving you her number anytime soon if you can’t even be bothered to CARE about what she has to say.
So maybe it turns out that good-looking redhead you decided to have a friendly chat with is a bit on the boring side.
At this point, you may find your brain drifting to any of the following:
– What time your favorite team is playing tonight
– The weather forecast for tomorrow
– How lame this conversation is
– What she might be like in bed
No matter how dull it seems, there’s no sense in acting like a total ass and shutting her out with your own thoughts. Save the analysis for later. In the meantime, be a decent guy and pay attention.
So what if she isn’t your type after all? A good seducer isn’t daunted by such setbacks, he simply moves on with someone more interesting.
No harm, no foul. End things with a cool “Well, it was nice talking to you…” and wrap things up while politely excusing yourself. Hey, at least you learned something, right?
If it so happens that you’re talking to someone you do actually like, stay FOCUSED all the same and use her input to FUEL your own responses.
Like we said a while ago, keep your mind on the prize and ENGAGE yourself in the moment. It’s hard for some guys to grasp the fact that they would be more attractive if they only spent more energy into what the girl is saying… instead of that body-hugging top she’s wearing.
I’ve heard lots and lots of sob stories from clients and friends who blew their approach from those typical “my eyes are up here” kind of scenarios. Seduction is a game and who has the most information about the “target” has a bigger chance of winning.
I’ve heard lots and lots of sob stories from clients and friends who blew their approach from those typical “my eyes are up here” kind of scenarios.
Seduction is a game and him who has the most information about the “target” has a bigger chance of winning. Why? It’s because being attentive allows you to be attuned to her personality.
Once you’ve gotten a good feel of her interests, limits, and boundaries, then you’ll have a clearer set of parameters to work with.
And That Brings Us To My Next Point
#2: Use The Right Probing Questions
But don’t expect her to volunteer ALL of the things you’d like to learn about her.
In order for you to get the information you need, you’ll also have to ask her the right kind of questions.
The important thing to keep in mind about your inquiries is that they’re meant to extract tell-tale signs of the wavelength she’s on.
Don’t bother squeezing out mundane facts that aren’t vital to the big picture. Suppose you’re lining up at a coffee shop when you notice this nice lady behind you holding a copy of a book you’ve read yourself.
Question time! A good way to open a conversation would be to ask, “Hey, nice book. What got you into (name of the author)?”
Notice how open-ended it was, in order to encourage a lengthy, insightful response that doesn’t simply end in “yes” or “no”.
So she’ll say, “Well, I really wasn’t into (name of the author) until my brother bugged me to read this, claiming I’d miss half my life if I didn’t. So here I am with this book!”
To the AFC, all of this precious information would just fly over his head as he launches into a pointless, unrelated question which will eventually derail the conversation.
As for YOU, however, try building on her response to gathering more momentum and took her in.
Let’s see here: from what she just told you, it seems like she’s in a family of bookworms, and she’s also open to other people’s ideas even if they don’t necessarily sound good to her at first.
Armed with that info, you can say, “That’s cool – at first, I was pretty hesitant to read that myself since I’m not too much of a (name of a genre) fan. But I stuck with it, and it was one of the best books I’ve read in a while.”
But I stuck with it, and it was one of the best books I’ve read in a while.” By using the right kind of questions to guide the conversation, you’ve also affirmed her choices without having to kiss ass.
Most AFCs resort to blind, insincere praise in order get on a girl’s good side, unlike PUAs who know how to connect with a woman on a DEEPER level.
Sure, it may not be a brain-intensive, philosophical talk but it’s a lot better than trying to kick off a conversation with say, how those jeans wrap around her perfectly formed behind.
Just keep in mind that you’re not sweating a suspect in an interrogation room filled with one-way mirrors. This is supposed to be a light-hearted kind of chat you’re trying to get going here.
And That Takes Us To Today’s Last Point
#3: Keep It Positive By Triggering Good Emotions
In a PUA’s book, an ideal conversation ends with the girl feeling those positive vibes as you part ways. This is the point of any sort of talk you want to have with your target.
Since she’s supposed to get all warm and toasty from talking to you, it’s best that you take control of the conversation and make sure that you discuss upbeat topics.
Obviously, it’s in your interest to put yourself in a favorable light, so your stories or comments will affect her perception of YOU.
Going back to the matter of asking the right questions, not only do they give you a clearer picture of the fair maiden you fancy, they can also be made to trigger positive feelings within her.
Sounds like a tall order? Don’t sweat it. I’ve got an effective way of packaging your questions that will re-wire her emotional circuitry to your advantage.
Imagine for a minute that you’re on a first date with a lovely young woman you made friends with the other week. So now you’re flustered, desperately trying to think of something clever or impressive to say.
Here’s where the romantic questions come in. There is an art to it because you don’t want to sound fake or creepy while asking her things of this nature, so let me give you an example:
“Last month a friend of mine announced his engagement to his colleague from work. He bugged me to set up a bridal shower for his fiancé because all her friends were too lame to help out.
Just kidding! Anyway, I dragged myself to different caterers and what have you to ask around, and it just occurred to me how cool it was of my buddy to ask his best friend to help him with something like that.
I mean, at least it seemed pretty romantic from his fiancé’s perspective I suppose. Did you have any similar experiences or have friends who’ve done something like that?”
The trick to laying down a romantic question is by layering it with a premise, a description, and the actual question. That means talking about a romantic scenario, describing it to her, and then asking her opinion afterward.
It just seems more natural and relaxed, not to mention a better alternative to the straightforward “Do you believe in love at first sight?” sort of questions.
However, be sure to time it right and don’t ask it right off the bat. Pace yourself – try finding an opportune moment to slip in your questions CASUALLY.
With any luck, your woman will start associating your presence with romantic thoughts. It’s all about tailoring your conversation patterns towards that general direction.
The trick is to get her talking about the mushy stuff because doing so is a pleasurable act in itself. Once you’ve swung the gates open and those positive emotions start to kick in, she’ll unconsciously thank you for that.
The one mystery behind women is that they are never confident of your worth as a man by CONVINCING her.
You’ve seen those Mac vs. PC ads right? There’s the crusty old PC guy representing everything BORING about the computing world whereas the Mac dude is the poster boy for all that is fun, fresh and hip.
Have you noticed in some of these ads that they NEVER talk about the actual features that would make you want to buy a Mac? No mention about specs or any other techie mumbo-jumbo.
Rather, these ads are PLAYFUL, humorous and generate good feelings all around. And those feelings alone are powerful enough to part you from your money, or in the case of dating, make her desire you sexually. And that my friend, is the essence of a good conversation.
It advertises your social worth right under her radar and you don’t have to directly tell her WHY she should invest her time in you. All of those reasons are already embedded in your attentive ear, positive outlook and thoughtful questions.
In other words, the ability to carry and direct the right kind of conversation is the key to getting her number, taking her out on a date and finally, moving in for the kill.
About the authors:
Slade Shaw and Mirabelle Summers are the inimitable duos of dating and relationship experts at MeetYourSweet.com. Their approach to dating advice, particularly in the sphere of unlocking the personal power and creating life and relationship success, has empowered their followers to make potent personal breakthroughs the world over.